The Losers' Spot

I happen to be the only one at home that went to an English-medium school; all my other siblings went to village schools during the Apartheid regime. It used to be so annoying when they would tease me about my accent when I spoke English- they would call me coconut or Oreo; black on the outside but white in the inside. I hated it and a lot of times I felt othered. I never understood why talking the way I do was a problem, until I was guilty of laughing at people that don’ttwang. I used to say “I will never date a guy with a BLACK accent.” and until recently I never understood how classist I was!

More than anything I am ashamed of my snobbish ways, but it was an idea that has been embedded in our heads that a white man is better than a black man. This is not a racist perspective but the truth of the society we live in; ever since the times of colonialism; colonists belittled, battered and enslaved Africans andwhite supremacyhas reigned. That is why as a black woman, the lighter skinned akayellow boneswith long hair (whether it is bought or not) has been seen as more beautiful than their dark-skinned, short haired counterparts. Nevertheless, when I was in high school (and occassionally now) the coolest people were the ones with the twangs and those that don’t have are looked down on. Funny though, the smart kids were generally the ones from rural schools and the ones thattwinged,as I call it. I have come to learn there isn’t anything wrong with a twing or a twang.

Fast forward to the more matured and wiser me, I would love to believe and now having a twang is as some have told me “ungovernable”. Being someone who is deeply into South African politics- I tend to have an opinion about well EVERYTHING and I voice it out. I have noticed the rise of what I labelblack supremacy;where having an afro or braids instead of a weave is the new in thing and speaking in what is labelledComrade Englishhas become the ultimate sign of beingProudlySouth African. Like I said, I have learnt that the is nothing wrong with with what is referred to as a “black” accent but when it is used as a barometer for one’sblacknessthat is where I cannot agree with it. I have friends who went to the most elite private schools in the country and are very articulate in English and just like me- TWANG! But the minute they joined the ANCYL they started speaking differently. I have no problem with Comrades that naturally speak like Comrades but when one adopts this accent JUST to fit in then perhaps we are not as far off as we thought we were as a nation. I twang- always have and always will and I do not see why my political competence is measured by that. Why should I now be labelled a sell out for speaking the way I do?

Eighteen years into democracy and we (as black people) still lable each other the same way colonists did. This makes me believe that our racial divide runs deeper that we would love to believe or think.

In MY lifetime I would love a country- where black or white we do not label each other in ANY way. God sees us all the same; we are equal in His eyes.

‘In this new life it doesnt matter if you are Jew or Getile, circumcised or uncircumcised, babaric, uncivilised, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us” Collosians 3:11

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are^[a] being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

venumworldwide:

For the love…

(Source: introspectivegibberish)

welikethis:

Beyonce trying to crib from Jigga’s notes, Jigga says no. Lovely.

(Source: getawaay)

I feel trapped … Like the only way out is through death

And then I remember … Your difigured face for my life bled

And as Mary wept- I saw myself take another step

But you see my steps were not stragetic and I was more concerned about distance

I was more focused on the vector instead of The Victor

And so I forgot the replacement of my heart with your own

I couldn’t figure out my head to tail method

But it was your body that was being jerked up that cross

That cross where it felt like a split second when those nails through your skin were forced

A force that would determine the masses’ salvation that was beyond my own accelarated expectations

This sort of love was New to me

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought any man would be THIS attracted to me

And just like gravity You keep me grounded …

No matter how lost I feel

Your love is the needle of my compass

and in every single direction, my future you hold

It doesn’t matter how long it takes, How lost I feel

Because I carry you in my heart

And when I’m trapped in these chambers

Even when Atria use my own strength to escape

But i just need to vent…tricles are the devils Royal Flush

I call his bluff and realise that the One that found me when I went stray can find me once again  ….

Love so A-Maze-ing !!!!

And then Jesus said “Will you marry me? We don’t need a third party- you have direct access to me. And we don’t have to worry about remembering out anniversary because i have yet to find a calendar with a date eternity”

The first time I heard the song “Still Waters Run Deep” was in 1997. As usual we had just got back from church and my dad was playing cassettes of all his favourite artists. That day was the very first time he had ever played this song, and I was upset at him for this, because then I couldn’t sing along as usual. But like most of the other 60s, 70s and 80s bands, The Four Tops became a household name. I will admit, beside this song, most of this 70s band’s music is foreign to my ears.

And now, more than a decade after I was first introduced to this song, its relevance in my life and the time that I live in is still very predominant. In a time that is dubbed as “The Information Age”, where everything and anything is accessible at a click of button, we have become very superficial. Superficial to that extend that we measure ourselves with our possesions, accolades and our physical appearances. But are we as in touch with ourselves inside like we are with the outside world. I mean, we have the latest gagdets, clothes and as well as anything else that is new in the media. How many of us have already downloaded Tyga’s album? How long did it take for you to get your hands on Drake’s Take Care album after it was leaked? And how early did we get up in order to get to YDE as early as possible last week Sunday? But how often do we renew ourselves after a bad day or after a messy fight with our parents, friends or partners? Do we take the time to upgrade (for a lack of a better word) like we do our music collection or our wardrope.

Still waters do run deep. From the outside we look okay- but are we really? Then why are there constant nude pictures on twitter? Why am I always getting hit on by men old enough to be my father in a club? Why are girls “okay” with their cheating boyfriends? Why have virgins become as endagered as the rhino? Why are there more divorces than marriage? And why are toddlers seen as sexually inticing in the eyes of grown men?

I could get experts from the psychology department to explain all this to me but I know it all stems from one place: THE INSIDE. The minute our looks took preference over where we were emotionally, spiritually and mentally we start rotting from the inside. Only stagnant waters accumulate algae and start smelling- but a pool that is regularly pumped with water remains clean. With daily renewal of our insides we could be a better society.

Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with looking good and having the best of everything. But what is the point of all those beautiful things when we are dying inside? What happens when we take off all that make up, expensive clothes and watches? What happens when we swith off our Blackberrys, iPhones and iPads? We are faced with the harsh reality of facing ourselves. Do we like what we see- or do we need to do some housekeeping????